Legacy of Biblical Womanhood Study: Week 3 "What Makes a Woman Beautiful?"

For me to be talking with you about what truly makes a woman beautiful from the Biblical perspective when most of my life had been spent centered around ME, ME, ME, as I had deeply fallen into the world's view of beauty seems... ridiculous... almost laughable.
Who am I, Lord?
I certainly know that the world's view of beauty is a trap that leads to discontentment. I know that if you get caught up in it, you will never find true joy. You will never measure up. ... and if you are a Christian woman who has gotten caught up in it, you will be a stumbling block to the Gospel as well as a hindrance in serving your brother's in Christ who long to resist the temptation of lust.
So how does God transform your life, renew your mind to think Biblically on this issue of true and lasting beauty? For me personally, I would have labeled this an impossible task. A hopeless case scenario. But when God wants to do an impossible task He takes an impossible woman like me and utterly crushes her.

May our souls be crushed for the longing of God's Word... His Truth on these issues so that we can be helpers to our brother's in Christ for the sake of the Gospel and His holy Name and not stumbling blocks.

Much of what I went over with the women at the study was based on notes especially from studying God's Word and notes from well articulated sermons and books on the subject. This includes sermons/ books from John MacArthur, CJ Mahaney, Carolyn Mahaney and John Piper. I studied these writings because I deeply respect these people and I needed the balance of a man's perspective, their struggles in the area of lust, and their pleading desire for women of God to help and not hinder; along with a woman of God, such as Carolyn Mahaney, that has proven herself in this area as evidenced especially by the testimony of her husband.

Please take the time to read Cultural Beauty According to Google. It is a great way to look back at the ridiculous, me-centered, relative beauty trends that have inundated our society since the 1700's.

Do you really comprehend as a woman that men are stimulated visually? Do you really understand that your clothes will either help or hinder men who are trying to glorify God?

No! I will not encourage Islamic-type burquas or abayas as the standard of dress. I will not get out my measuring tape to make sure your skirt is long enough. I will not gawk at you in a holier-than-thou condemnation because you aren't following MY rules. I am a work in progress and am so thankful for the women in my life who have come alongside me to teach me what is appropriate for the sake of the Gospel. I am so thankful for my Godly husband!!!
I consider myself to be the worst sinner I know and if I am concerned about your manner of dress as a Christian woman I will come to you graciously and I would hope you would do the same for me. This is not the sole responsibility of the pastor and elder's of our church to tell us women what NOT to wear. Especially on a Sunday morning when we are to come prepared for worship; where the focus is to be on Christ and not our cleavage. It is the collective, gracious, loving responsibility of all of the members of the church... and should be woman to woman out of love for one another and God's Holy Name.
Now, there is a definite responsibility on the part of the man to control his lust. How far do we go as women on this issue? Some men may get turned on by a women's ankles, another by her shoulders, another by beautiful eyes, etc. So men, do us a favor and do not expect us to be responsible for your extremes and lack of control. We should be very willing as woman to be submissive in the area of modesty, but there is a point in which the men MUST take responsibility.

As a community of saints, we are not looking for a ‘dress code’ but principles where our theology meets our closets.- Dave H.

As Christian women in the church you can be either a blessing or a distraction as this young man explains:

The one place I might think I wouldn’t have to face as much temptation is at church. But this is not always the case. When ladies I’m friends with dress immodestly, it definitely has a negative effect on our friendship. When she dresses immodestly, it doesn’t make it easy to see her as a sister in Christ. There’s a constant battle going on as I’m interacting with her. Communication becomes more difficult, but I’m also trying to fight temptation.
I also think that some ladies aren’t aware that even the little things can distract guys a lot — showing even a little part of their stomach, wearing a bag that has a strap that goes between their breasts, etc.

I’m so grateful for the friendships God has given me over the last year and a half and for the godly ladies in my small group. I’m so appreciative of the sacrifice that these ladies make to glorify God and to serve and care for the guys.

I heard a story of one of the ladies in our small group who went shopping and really liked a shirt she was trying on. But then she thought, "No, I can’t do this to the guys." That was the first time I had ever heard of anything like that, and it made me so grateful. It is such a blessing to have friends who care for me enough to be selfless and to sacrifice what might look attractive in order to help me and other guys with sexual lust.

When ladies dress modestly, it’s attractive and it makes me want to hang out with them. I think modesty is so attractive and helpful in friendships; it makes it easier for a friendship to be centered around God and for fellowship to be unhindered.

"Both Paul and Timothy were concerned that the Ephesian church be a godly testimony to society. For the women of the church to imitate the gaudy clothing styles of pagan women, to call attention to themselves, or to dress to lure men into illicit sexual relationships was to blaspheme the intent of the worship service." –John MacArthur

Godly men find modesty attractive. And single gals... those are the men you want to attract! They appreciate women who dress with self-control and restraint. They’re grateful for women who serve them by helping them fight the temptation to lust. But this is not just about proper attire on a Sunday morning. Read this testimony of a young man in college:

A day in the life of a college student pursuing purity:
Each and every day on campus is a battle. A battle against my sin, a battle against temptation, a battle against my depraved mind. Every morning I have to cry out for mercy, strength, and a renewed conviction to flee youthful lust. The Spirit is faithful to bring me the renewal I need and to prepare me to do war against my sin, yet temptations still exist.

I’m thankful God has created me to be attracted to women. However, campus is a loaded minefield. There are girls everywhere, and it is guaranteed that I will pass some attractive girls as I walk in between classes. To make it through the day unscathed, I either have to be actively engaging my mind and spirit in praying, quoting Scripture, listening to worship music, or looking at the sidewalk. Many days it takes all four to be safe. . . .

The thing that women do not seem to fully grasp is that the temptation toward lust does not stop. It is continual. It is aggressive. And it does all it can to lead men down to death. And women have a choice to help or deter the goal and purpose of lust. Sometimes when I see a girl provocatively dressed, I’ll say to myself, "She probably doesn’t even know that 101 guys are going to devour her in their minds today. But then again, maybe she does." To be honest, I don’t know the truth, the truth of why she chooses to dress the way she does, the way she chooses to walk, the way she chooses to act. I don’t know because I’ve never sat down with a girl and asked why. All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait for my sinful mind to latch onto and I need to avoid it at all costs.

For the most part, the church serves as a sanctuary from the continual barrage of temptation toward sin. However, the church’s members are not yet free from sin, and there are girls who are ignorant and unaware of men’s sinful tendencies.

I must confess that even church can have several mines scattered about. To the girls who are ignorant, please serve your brother in Christ and have your dad screen your wardrobe. Ask your dad how you can better choose holiness over worldliness. He’s a guy, and he knows more than you on the issue.

And to the girls who don’t follow the pattern of the world: thank you. Thank you a million times over. You are following Scripture’s commands, and you are helping your brothers in the process.

"I hope this ardent desire to serve your brothers in Christ characterizes every woman in the church. But the church should also be a place where the unconverted can come dressed immodestly and be warmly welcomed, not self-righteously judged."-CJ Mahaney

The Bible NO WHERE forbids a woman from enhancing her appearance! Paul, in I Timothy is warning about excessive attention devoted to appearance at the expense of the Gospel and serving Christ. This will inevitably lead to pride and discontentment.

However, a woman CAN honor God by enhancing her personal appearance or bringing beauty to her environment.

God is the creator of beauty. God delights in beauty. All we need to verify this fact is to consider the beauty He created all around us: whether it is an elegant flower, or towering trees, or a meandering river, or billowy clouds or the majestic night sky. Every time we stop to take in one of these breathtaking scenes on display in God’s creation, we can’t help but be convinced that He delights in beauty!

[B]ecause we are created in the image of our Creator, each of us has this propensity to make things beautiful. That means, when we decorate our homes, or plant a lovely flower garden, or seek to add some form of beauty to our surroundings, even when we attempt to enhance our personal appearance—we are actually imitating and delighting in the works of our Great Creator.-Carolyn Mahaney

"It is not necessarily evil to wear stylish clothing and an attractive hairstyle. It is not sinful to wear make-up and jewelry. The Proverbs 31 woman wore colorful, high-quality clothing. The bride in Song of Solomon adorned her appearance with jewelry. We are told that Esther went through 12 months of beauty treatments-six months with oil and myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. The Bible does not condemn wearing and using these things. It is wearing them for the wrong reasons that God's Word forbids"

So ladies CHECK YOUR MOTIVES!!! A Modesty Heart Check may be in order.

Read I Peter 3:3-5; I Timothy 2:9 and Proverbs 31:30

“Modest Apparel or adorn” – kosmios means ‘respectable, honorable, well-ordered.’ It is translated “of good behavior” in 1 Tim 3:2. Your clothes are to match/proclaim/adorn your godly behavior. It therefore does not refer only to clothing, but can mean "demeanor" or "attitude. " It encompasses both the attitude of the heart and proper adornment on the outside. Her clothing should reflect a heart focused on God.

“Propriety” – aidos has an interesting sense of both shame and honor, bashfulness and reverence (Heb 12:28).

“Moderation” – sophrosune means ‘soberness, soundness of mind, self-control, and reasonableness.’ Again, the context doesn’t allow for a girl to say, “but I don’t mean that when I wear this…”

Godly Fear- The Greek word translated "godly fear" (aid[ma]os) refers to modesty mixed with humility. It connotes a sense of shame--not shame in being a woman, but in any way inciting lust or distracting others from a proper worship of God. A woman with a proper sense of shame will dress in such a way as not to be a source of temptation. It implies morally rejecting anything dishonorable to God.

Putting This Together – We learn that adornment is a powerful thing (which is also proven by the huge apparel industry) and women know it. Much of what our culture tells young women to wear sends messages a godly woman should never want to send.

What are your clothes saying about your relationship with God? Are you exalting God or yourself? Your wardrobe is a public statement of your personal and private motivation. It should be an outward expression of the Gospel. It should promote Jesus and not "me". Your hearts WILL dictate your wardrobe.

So... who are the most beautiful women in the world?
Is it People magazine's choice according to their annual issue that contains a list of "The Fifty Most Beautiful People in the World." One year you may see a picture of Julia Roberts, a talented and attractive movie star... but what about the next year? Will Julia Roberts still be considered beautiful to their standards when she is 80?

Truly the most beautiful woman in the world:

• lives her life by the Word of God
• has a remarkable, pervading influence for good
• knows that a woman gets her greatest joy and fulfillment in submitting entirely to the will of God
• is a "light" in the world (Matt. 5:14-16), especially to her family
• is not obsessed with carnal attractiveness and does not prize what is called "passing beauty" (Prov. 31:30)
• esteems "the beauty of holiness" (Psa. 29:2)
• is neither a nag nor a complainer
• is spiritually attractive
• has an inner beauty that becomes more and more radiant with every passing year
• has a genuine attitude of humility that seeks to glorify God and serve others
• is sensitive to her brother's in Christ and willingly serves them by purposely dressing in a manner that is not sensual
• does not forsake her outward appearance

Please Read: Three Teen Young Men Define "A Real Woman"

Here is the Legacy of Biblical Womanhood Schedule
Press on in HIS truth and HIS love for HIS glory

Here are the sermons/ books/ blogs that inspired some of what was written here:

• CJ Mahaney's Modesty Series (see modesty series index in that link that provides series 1 through 7)
• Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World
• Girl Talk Blog
  
• God's High Calling for Women
  
• Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America
  
• Modesty – Let’s Take A Good Look
• The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
• The Look: Does God Really Care What I Wear?
• Sister... Show Mercy!